The True Story of How I Came to Love Thanksgiving

Confession:  I used to truly dislike Thanksgiving.

Honestly, I didn’t really get it.  I knew we were supposed to be honoring all the reasons we had to be thankful, but it was hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that we were celebrating an exchange between Pilgrims and Native Americans, when we all know how that played out.  In my opinion, it’s still America’s dirty little laundry basket that no one wants to look in, because there is no way to wash it.

And yes, it’s true, I don’t enjoy pumpkin pie.

Then four years ago, Nick and I bought a house, and it made the most sense to hold Thanksgiving at our place given the size of our combined families.  I was excited at the prospect of finally being able to host a holiday, but at the same time I had to figure out how to be a joyful hostess.

Getting to a place of peace happened very organically.  First came the guest list.  We got RSVPs from pretty much every family member we invited.  Then I started mentioning it to friends and before I knew it, a few of them were coming as well.

Then came the preparation.  The day before Thanksgiving my mother came over and helped me with something really special: the stuffing.  You may be wondering how stuffing could be so special, or maybe you are aware that there are stuffing “camps.”  Some swear by making it with nuts and raisins.  Others proclaim it best with cornmeal.  Well, my family is no different, and it finally came time for my mother to pass down my grandmother’s secret recipe.  My grandmother passed away about ten years ago, which was really hard as we were extremely close.  So, sharing this experience with my mother was emotional and a little eye-opening.

The true spirit behind Thanksgiving finally found its way into my cold black heart: I have a wonderful, albeit quirky blended family that I love, and my family loves me.  I have amazing friends, many of whom are a part of my chosen family. Most of all, I have my husband, my dog Lindsay and my kitty GoGo whom I love with all of my heart and for them I am very thankful.  The entertaining, the house, the STUFF we fill our life with outside of our love for one another is the gravy on top, so to speak.

I’m holding to love especially tight right now.  It has been a tough couple of weeks leading up to Thanksgiving.  Our country is more divided than ever, uncertainty and fear hang over our heads and anger and frustration surround us.  Adding to everything, close friends of mine have faced terrible loss and I have grieved the anniversary of the death of someone I don’t think I’ll ever be over.

And so, this year I’m looking back to the first Thanksgiving I hosted.  I’m remembering how it felt to have my heart opened in a new and unexpected way.  I’m cherishing the present and embracing what it feels like to fill my house with the love of friends and family.  I’m hoping for the future, and like many I wish for the unity and inclusion of all, to move forward together in reconciliation and love with acceptance for all Americans.

For that is the message of Thanksgiving.